Brokenness

It’s Thanksgiving time. The fact that this time of year is already here dawns more strongly upon me with a half week of classes and with the arrival of my Aunt Jenni today, my younger brother, Haden, tomorrow, and with graduation right around the corner (as in less than a month).

This is the season that gives families and relatives an excuse to come together (and even for a, as Captain Jack Sparrow would say, “…distant cousin of my aunt’s nephew twice removed,” to drop in) It’s a time to love on and embarrass each other, as well as give thanks and partake in a huge feast of everyone’s Thanksgiving favorites. Of course there are always outliers like Chandler in FRIENDS, who strongly protest the creation of such a holiday because of the memories they associate with it.

Today, two events took place in my life.

I wept. No, not tears of gratitude or of joy; tears of brokenness. Why? Because I once again opened that chapter in the book of my life – the part of the book I always try to skip over because it is a sad chapter. I looked, and I saw, once again, like an ugly, prominent scar, the brokenness in my (not immediate) family. There is no love there; no getting together at holidays. We are alive, yet seem dead to each other. I look around me and the desire builds up deep within me that wishes my relatives would all come together and share in sweet fellowship with each other.

Even outside forces try to tear apart and seek to ruin Thanksgiving season with the little family that does come together. And by “little” I mean, my parents, brother, my aunt, and myself.

Then out of that moment of brokenness came victory.

I rejoiced. Giving thanks should never be conditional. Several thoughts, like a volley of arrows, came rushing into my heart and mind:

– God is awesome

– Jesus Christ, God the Father’s only Son, was sent to save us from our sins. “Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” – Hebrews 12:2

– I am a daughter of the King and the Most High God. Just that thought alone, humbles and floors me. He chose me. Wow. Hard to top that.

– I have two of the best parents a girl could ever dream of and a brother who is my best friend. I love and respect them dearly and would do anything for them as I know they would do for me. Not many families, despite their largeness, have that.

– I am blessed way more than I deserve. I, in myself, have done nothing to merit God’s grace, love, gifts, and forgiveness. We are all in danger of taking for granted and losing sight of that.

– God has blessed me with a few close friends who love me as I am and who have my back. I love each of them dearly.

So, I’d say the greatness of God far outweighs the evil of this world. I want to say I am exceedingly thankful and wish each of you a very Happy Thanksgiving!!!