Both Sides Now

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“This is one of the miracles of love: It gives a power of seeing through its own enchantments and yet not being disenchanted.” – C.S. Lewis

I feel the song, “Both Sides Now,” sums up a lot of the internal workings of my heart and brain lately – where I’ve come from and come to and still have to go. Through this past year, I’ve come to see, think, feel and approach the matter of “love” in an entirely different light and from a new angle. To talk about what all that entails…well…one day I might write on it. To sum up, with everyone I’ve talked to (myself included), there’s this dilemma, this seeming lose-lose situation: meeting and dating. Insert long sigh here. There are extremes taken with each sex. In this day and age of how we see, not only love/relationships, but Christian living in this ever darkening, more directionless, dying world (there’s a 3-point sermon in there somewhere), I’m reminded of Romans 8: 22-23:

“For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.”

It’s hard to tell what’s up and what’s down – we agonize and fight and lose a lot. Bottom-line it’s the heart behind the method or intent. Another important, key thing to examine our hearts with is, are we using God as an end or as a means?

The parts of the below song lyrics I’ve italicized particularly stand out to me and I feel a lot of women (even men) struggle with being bold, stepping out in faith when it comes to love because they’ve been burned before. Funny, we don’t let job loss and burns get to us the way we let love do. With jobs we HAVE to keep looking, working hard at, interviewing for, if we want to make a living to support ourselves. It’s amazing (and sad in a way) how we would put temporary in front of eternal. I’m not saying here that getting/finding a significant other is what your life should revolve around. But I do feel we often live in more fear of our boss/others than of the Lord, or we’ll be so consumed with our gain than growing in selflessness, love, faith, compassion towards others. I’ve found that I’m definitely a freer more joy-filled person, which seems the opposite of what I would be. I’m also not saying you should do so in an unhealthy way. Remember, it’s praying to find the Lord’s balance. “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty” (Proverbs 21:5). I journaled on this chapter yesterday and I say this verse in an entirely new way – I didn’t just read it and think, “Ok, that’s nice…I can sorta see what it means in general.” Here’s what I wrote:

To be diligent also entails being steady, working towards something, patient, deliberate/intentional, patient, wisdom – don’t be hasty and make a decision on impulse or through reckless emotion – never bodes well and you look the fool, even if you thought or it seems like a noble thing. Think, Saul with the sacrifice to the Lord without Samuel and the story of Cain and Able.

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels

The dizzy dancing way that you feel

As every fairy tale comes real

I’ve looked at love that way

But now it’s just another show

And you leave ’em laughing when you go

And if you care, don’t let them know

Don’t give yourself away

I’ve looked at love from both sides now

From give and take, and still somehow

It’s love’s illusions I recall

I really don’t know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud

To say “I love you” right out loud

Dreams and schemes and circus crowds

I’ve looked at life that way

Oh, but now old friends they’re acting strange

They shake their heads

They say I’ve changed

Well something’s lost but something’s gained

In living every day

I’ve looked at life from both sides now

From win and lose and still somehow

It’s life’s illusions I recall

I really don’t know life at all

Shalom,

Rachel B. Duke

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